The gentlemen of rape culture hate rape. Oh god it’s the worst to them. They make this so clear and they will write it in caps locks, how THEY WANT TO BE VERY CLEAR THAT RAPE IS BAD. Seriously, rape is bad.
They discovered this fact the other day and now they want you to know.
The gentlemen of rape culture are kind of like Beetlejuice. They’re never around to denounce rape or support survivors and work towards a safer world. You’re friends with them on Facebook but you haven’t heard from them in 5 years. They literally never comment on anything you post. But as soon as you post an article about how women shouldn’t be blamed for sexual assault, or say “rape culture” three times, oh hello they have so many things to say to you!
Really, these gentlemen are dreadfully unoriginal. Every time they appear, they say the exact same things. But god forbid you find it annoying. Oh no! They just want to help. Don’t oppress them. Don’t persecute them. They’re men, after all. Poor, silenced, marginalized men. Give them a chance to speak up for once, will you? Men just want to help and tell you how you’re wrong. If they weren’t here to tell you you’re wrong, who would? Women? How silly.
So here they come, ready to set the record straight.
They always begin by letting you know they’re so on your side.
“Men are indeed 100% responsible for rape…”
Followed by… oh yes you guessed it, a “but”! The gentlemen of rape culture love buts.
“Men are indeed 100% responsible for rape, but…”
But gentlemen of rape culture think math is silly, too.
So even though men are 100% responsible, women are also responsible for 10%. 110%. Because, like, math and stuff. Manly math. Don’t question it, women.
The gentlemen are so invested in protecting women from themselves that they have spent many hours trying to come up with suggestions for women to avoid situations which women are 100% not responsible for.
Like this helpful gem:
“Don’t be overly flirty with guys you don’t know.”
I mean, it’s not like 73% of sexual assaults are perpetrated by people you do know. That’s just ludicrous. That would make this advice almost cruel. But these are gentlemen of rape culture. They would never be cruel. They just don’t want you to be sluts, you know. Sluts make bad feminists. And we all know the best feminists are men.
Or how about this gem?
“Women aren’t responsible, but women shouldn’t have license to dress and act however they want.”
I mean, seriously, people. Giving women license to do what they want? That’s just a recipe for mass rape. Let women do what they want? What’s next, equal rights?
The only license women should have to dress how they want is, like, literally a license.
We don’t just let kids go out and drive cars, right? They have to pass a driving test. And the gentlemen of rape culture know that women’s bodies are pretty much the same as cars. So women shouldn’t be able to use their bodies unless men give them the right to do so. It’s not misogyny. It’s safety. We wouldn’t want women getting crazy with their freedom and acting like their bodies belong to them or anything.
My personal favorite, however, is this:
“In a perfect world all men would be gentlemen.”
Well, gentlemen of rape culture, this is not a perfect world…
Because people like you are still around.
I told someone on a x-fundamentalist homeschool group once that the real issue was not what I did or did not wear, but whether my body was my own and not his. I believe my body is my own, and not the property of someone else, therefore what I wear is not a direct reflection of that person. The guy in the group told me that I must not understand what it is like to be on a “secular” college campus and what women act and dress like in “the world.” I had to laugh, as I had just finished a graduate degree at a large, well-known state university. Women are not monolithic. We are people first, and whatever we do, rape isn’t a consequence. It’s a crime.
Thank you, R. O, thank you so much.
Just found your blog via Defeating the Dragons. This post is amazing, and I will definitely be a regular reader from now on!
Thanks Courtney, and welcome!