Hello friends, colleagues, and followers! I am starting something new: The R.L. Stollar Update. This will (hopefully) be a regular monthly update on what I am working on, thinking about, and enjoying. If you would like to receive a copy of my monthly updates in your email inbox, please subscribe to my website. Subscribing will always be free.
I will highlight 6 items in each update:
- What articles and books I’ve been reading,
- What music I have been listening to,
- What ideas I’ve been thinking about,
- Something important,
- Something beautiful, and
- A favorite poem.
Thanks for following along and your support as readers. I appreciate all of you.
What I am reading:
I am in the middle of reading or re-reading several books: Emily Hunter McGowin’s Households of Faith, Marissa Franks Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis’s The Myth of Good Christian Parenting, Alice Miller’s For Your Own Good, and Lisa Pine’s Nazi Family Policy. I have already read Burt and McGinnis’s book and officially endorsed it, but I am re-reading it for an article I am writing, comparing their book with Emily Hunter McGowin’s book. Both titles look at the damage wrought by the Christian parenting empire and the evangelical parenting teachers that lead it. While Burt and McGinnis focus more on the individual and familial damage, including many interviews by children raised under the empire’s beliefs and practices, McGowin looks at the broader forces at play (imperialism, racism, sexism, and capitalism) and then proposes an alternative to empire parenting based on mutuality within families. She calls her alternative “apprenticeship to love.”
The other two books, Miller’s For Your Own Good and Pine’s Nazi Family Policy, I am reading for a new research project: comparing evangelical parenting beliefs and practices with Nazi parenting beliefs and practices. I wish I could say there is little to compare, but unfortunately the similarities are significant and nauseating.
Also, speaking of nauseating similarities between evangelicals and Nazis, D.L. and Krispin Mayfield of the Strongwilled multimedia project continue their deep dives on James Dobson. In a recent installment, they explored Dobson’s relationship with his mentor, American eugenicist Paul Popenoe of the American Institute of Family Relations. Popenoe’s work on eugenics directly influenced Nazism. The Mayfields’ installment is a long read or listen, but absolutely worth it.
What I am listening to:
I am currently obsessed with Black Atlass’s cover of Tate McRae’s song “Sports Car.” I already loved the original song’s production (handled by OneRepublic’s Ryan Tedder), but Black Atlass slows the song down and makes it slinky as hell.
I also recently discovered Jessie Murph. Her album Sex Hysteria might initially sound like country music, but it’s interspersed with trap beats, electronic sounds, shoutouts to Gucci Mane, and lots of sarcastic lyrics. “1965” is a highlight (the music video is arrestingly depressing but also NSFW). But, really, the track by Murph that has been haunting me the most is “Drunk in the Bathtub.”
What I am thinking about:
So much of what I think is missing from evangelical parenting teachings—non-violent communication, emotion management, and de-escalation skills—are not limited in their usefulness to children. They are really just good, basic life skills for all people. We would all benefit from learning how to communicate non-violently with each other, and how to manage our own emotions when we’re overwhelmed or stressed or hungry, and how to help people who are angry or upset to calm down so we can better understand one another. This is why I keep insisting in interviews and podcasts that treating children like human beings with human rights does not require studying fancy theologies or philosophies or learning parenting kung fu. It really comes down to something quite simple: the Golden Rule. Treating another person in the same way you would want to be treated, regardless of that person’s age or developmental stage. Fred Rogers modeled this beautifully throughout his life.
Something important:
This year’s Theology Beer Camp features not just one, but two, progressive Christian podcasters accused of abuse: Tim Whitaker of The New Evangelicals podcast, who was investigated recently by Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment (GRACE) over allegations of workplace abuse; and Tony Jones of the Emerged podcast, who was accused of domestic violence by his former spouse. It’s so disappointing to see exangelicals and progressive Christians continue the exact same patterns of enabling and empowering abusers that we saw growing up in evangelicalism. Folks like Pete Enns and Mason Mennenga know better but do not do better.
Despite featuring multiple individuals accused of abuse, Theology Beer Camp also has an impressive array of sponsors, including: my book’s publisher Eerdmans (which is disappointing considering they did back out of publishing Whitaker’s book over the abuse allegations), the liberation theology publisher Orbis Books, Burt and McGinnis’s publisher Brazos Press, progressive schools like Princeton Theological Seminary, Union Theological Seminary, and Vanderbilt Divinity School, and Middle Church. All these sponsors are responsible for platforming and mainstreaming accused abusers. There’s nothing progressive or liberatory about that.
Something beautiful:
Mychal Threets, the young Black librarian and homeschool alum who went viral in 2023 for his videos about “library joy,” is the new host of new episodes of Reading Rainbow. I cannot think of a better host for that show’s revival.
A favorite poem:
If you know me, you know I love former U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins. And my favorite Billy Collins poem is his “Introduction to Poetry.” This poem has been my Northern Light anytime I write poetry myself:
*****
I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide
.
or press an ear against its hive.
.
I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,
.
or walk inside the poem’s room
and feel the walls for a light switch.
.
I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author’s name on the shore.
.
But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.
.
They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.
*****
And that’s all for this update!
Thank you for reading. Never forget that children’s rights are human rights, because we all rise together. ✊