I recently had the honor of participating in D.L. and Krispin Mayfield’s Strongwilled project. Their project, which spans book chapters and podcast episodes and even an art show, addresses the role of religious authoritarian parenting (RAP) in the United States and beyond. Named after James Dobson’s 1978 book The Strongwilled Child (a book that promotes hitting infants and animals), Strongwilled is both a history of RAP as well as an exploration of the devastating impact it has had on children and their families.
I was invited to read and provide research and feedback on Chapter Fifteen of the Strongwilled book, titled “A Recipe for Abuse.” The chapter addresses the systemic nature of abuse and exploitation within religious authoritarian communities. It also cites my 2023 book on child liberation theology, The Kingdom of Children. In my book, I discuss why respecting children’s autonomy must include their mind: both their thoughts and feelings. We need spiritual child protection, not just physical child protection—and I must credit Cindy Wang Brandt for this important idea. On her Unfundamentalist Parenting blog, Brandt wrote the following:
Just as we institute child protection policies to ensure children’s bodily and emotional autonomy, and to guard against abuse, so we should put policies in place for our children’s spirituality. Spiritual autonomy is a human right. According to Joy Berry, children have the right to ask questions, think their own thoughts, believe their own beliefs, and to live free from fear.
Children should have the same right to say “No” to adult beliefs that they have to say “No” to adult touch. Consent is about body and mind.
D.L. and I had the opportunity to explore these ideas further in a podcast episode titled “Interview with R.L. Stollar: A Conversation About Creating Safer Communities For Children.” In our episode, we talked about what demographic is most commonly abusive (religious fathers and husbands) and measures that churches and other community organizations can take to prevent future abuse. One vital tool to fight abuse is actually—surprise!—the will. Since most abusers are not strangers but rather trusted community figures, it takes a very strong will to have the courage to speak up and say, “This beloved community member hurt me.” In other words, strongwilled children are child protection.
To read the chapter I contributed research and thoughts to, click here.
To listen to, or read the transcript of, my podcast episode with D.L., click here.